Spoiler Alert

Several friends had cautioned us about seeing Shrek Forever After with a young 'un, since theirs had gotten scared and needed to leave the theater. Still, Wynn insisted that she wanted to go.

I talked to her about the fact that others had been scared, and she assured me that she was brave. I asked her what she would do when the scary parts came on, her answer: "Sit on your lap and think about that they are in the movie and can't get us."

So we went.

She'd never seen a Shrek movie before, but she caught on to the story pretty fast. When the squadron of witches showed up, she turned to me and said, "I know why they got scared; those witches are mean." But she kept right on watching.

When the fire-breathing dragon started breathing fire on Shrek and Fiona, I figured Wynn would change her tune vis a vis the whole being brave thing, but I was wrong, and she kept watching.

For the most part, she found the movie enchanting. She liked seeing the scenes of the Ogres as a family, and the humor of Donkey and Puss in Boots was much appreciated - especially when Puss in Boots had put on a few pounds and couldn't roll over on his cushion.

The only time in the entire movie when Wynn looked worried was when, through the cruel trickery of Rumpelstiltskin, the "true love's kiss" between Shrek and Fiona didn't work to break the spell.

As Shrek explained the reason for its failure, "Fiona doesn't love me," Wynn turned to me aghast. She'd seen them as a happy couple early in the movie, and it distressed her so to think that they were no longer in love. That's when she needed a comforting hug and the reassurance of, "I'm sure Fiona will fall in love with him all over again."

I held her tight and teared up at her never-ending supply of sweetness.

Accentuate the Positive

Back Story -

Several months ago, Wynn and I got home from school and found that our dog (Shadow) had chewed her stuffed horse and left its mangled body all over the living room. I scolded him and told him he was a bad dog. It made quite an impression on Wynn, and she has mentioned the time I called Shadow "Bad Dog" several times since.

Our Conversation in the Car Tonight -

Wynn: Do you think Shadow was a good dog today?

Me: Yes, he was probably a good boy.

Wynn: Well, you know, when he is a good dog, you should say good things to him.

Me: Really? What kind of things should I say?

Wynn: Like, "Oh, Shadow, you are such a good dog, and we love you."

Me: Yes, that would be nice to tell him. But what should I say if he was a bad dog?

Wynn: Well, when he is bad you should still say good words to him. Because sometimes he does bad stuff like chew on toys or Baba's blanket, but you should still say good words. Not bad words like, "Shadow, you bad dog!"

Me: But shouldn't I tell him that what he did was bad?

Wynn: Yes, but use nice words like, "Shadow, you good boy, why you do bad things?" That way you won't hurt his feelings, because when you say bad words like, "You bad dog!" you might hurt his feelings, and then he will say, "You hurt my feelings."

Me: You're right. I wouldn't want to made Shadow sad, but he needs to know that I don't like when he's bad. Wynn, what would you say to Shadow if he chewed up your gecko?

Wynn: I would say, "I love you, Shadow, but don't chew my gecko."

Me: What if he got your alligator and ripped its head off and threw the stuffing all over so you could never play with it ever again?"

Wynn: Oh, no! No! That would make me SO sad.

Me: Me too. So, what would you say to him?

Wynn: I would use nice words. I love Shadow and don't want to hurt his feelings.

At this point I'm thinking that Wynn is the kindest, most forgiving soul on the planet.

Me: Oh, Wynn, you are such a sweet girl for not wanting to hurt Shadow's feelings.

Wynn: Yea, 'cause if I use bad words and hurt his feelings, he might bite me.

1-1/2 years old! Thank you, neighbors.

Today Wynn is 18 months old. Here she is attempting to play with everything in her room, all at once.

Tonight we joined our neighbors for our annual cookout and get-together. One of the reasons why we felt that adoption was the right thing to do is because we live on a street where people do routinely chat with their neighbors, that we all know each others' dogs and stop to pet them and give them treats, and that the kids who live here are genuinely welcome to play in each others' yards, go swimming and fishing, ride their bikes and such, knowing that all the adults here care about them and are watching out for them.

Whether at work or on the road, when we tell other people about the place we live, inevitably we hear, "that's the way it was when I was a kid." But often said with a sense of loss. And to be sure, we've both lived in places where we didn't know our next-door neighbors and probably just as well... mega apartment complexes as well as typical suburban plats. But those weren't places where we would have wanted to raise a child. Nor, live, for any extended amount of time.

As I looked at the apartment towers in China I wondered what kind of social atmosphere could exist there. Would the sense of community break down? But Wynn and her foster mother lived in such a place, and our little girl has consistently shown empathy toward other people, and has no problem joining other kids in play. So that gives me hope.

As far as our neighborhood, it is this way because we collectively want it to be this way, and we make the effort. It is pleasant work. And while I could certainly see our family in the future spending an extended period in China living the expat experience, I know I could never leave our home - we love this place too much.

What we didn't expect tonight at the cookout was that everyone came explicitly to see Wynn. She was the star of the party, got to meet all the neighbors she hadn't seen since arriving here, including a couple of boys her age - one adopted from Guatemala, the other from Ethiopia. She even got presents! She also got to steal most of the dinner from my plate (and after we fed her full of mac'n'cheese before coming over...)

Thank you, Bald Eagle neighbors. Not just for the gifts tonight, but for the bigger gift of creating and maintaining this wonderful, nurturing, and supportive place where Wynn can grow strong and confident and loved.

--Scott