The Big Debut that Didn't Happen

Our adoption agency, Children's Home Society, let us know a couple weeks ago that they would be hosting a delegation from the Chinese Government to discuss the current state of affairs about international adoption (severely curtailed but with important child-safety safeguards finally put in place) and how Chinese kids are doing here in the United States. Tonight, for families so inclined, they were hosting a dinner for the Chinese team and we were certainly invited, and if we wanted to get up and say something, even better.

We replied with an enthusiastic "yes" within about an hour of getting the invitation.

For the past week, we have been discussing with Wynn what she would want the Chinese Government and the people in the orphanages around that country to know about her life. With our help, she wrote a speech that we would all get up and say. Over this weekend, we practiced it several times!

Here is the outline of that speech:

Our family cares about making sure we all know we’re taken care of, are learning new things, and are happy.

I.               Wynn knows she’s well taken care of because …

a.     She gets lots of hugs from her family.

b.     She eats a lot of delicious, healthy food.

c.      She goes to the doctor, dentist, and speech therapist to keep her strong and healthy.

II.             Wynn is learning new things because …

a.     She goes to a great school, Yinghua Academy, where she learns Chinese, English, math, art, and music.

b.     She travels around the world with her family to see all kinds of people and places.

c.      She helps around the house and in the yard, so she’s learning about cooking, gardening, and responsibility.

III.           Wynn is happy because …

a.     She has a lot of friends.

b.     She does fun things like dancing, swimming, and rock climbing at summer camp.

c.      She has a dog who loves her and who she loves right back.

Wynn has changed our lives and filled them with learning and happiness. We are so proud of her and honored to get to see the amazing person she will grow up to be.

So, we got to the agency on time this afternoon (I took the afternoon off to pick up food for the potluck & to get Wynn early from school) and found our seats. Ann was feeling ill but was able to make it about halfway through, so all of us were together.

No surprise that there were quite a few kids from Yinghua Academy there! A few of the older girls even knew Wynn!

 

Conference room beginning to fill up

So this is what a typical Chinese delegation looks like. Everyone dressed in black suits; a few know English but most are Mandarin-only. Everyone has an iPhone or video recorder and about a third of them are checking their laptops. Nothing unusual...

The delegates were visiting a number of cities around the US and were here for one day only, so they wanted to document as much as they could. Little conversations going on and people wandering around is not atypical - nor by their standards disrespectful - behavior in large group meetings and assemblies.

Yinghua's directors and a group of students opened the meeting with a greeting song & dance; very sweet and well-received.

So nice to see most of the people who worked with us on Wynn's adoption still on the job!

 

This fellow was the leader of the group (translator to the side) and gave a very long speech in Mandarin (seriously, almost 10 minutes) which I'll sum up here: "don't forget who you are, we're very proud of you, come visit us sometime."

Food time; pandemonium at a big buffet is something both our cultures have in common!

 

The family speeches began while folks were still getting their food. We had been told to keep our presentations under 5 minutes - and to be aware that anything we said would need to be translated of course, so really a 2:30 presentation. That's what we kept to with Wynn's speech.  The first lady took 10 minutes in English. Whole story of her daughter's adoption and everything.

There were three more 10-minute long speeches. Bless these families but they weren't ... strong presentations or ... edited well.  While the speeches are going on,  I re-wrote our notes and coached Wynn on what phrases to use in Mandarin so that we could skip the translator and get the full attention of the group.  Some of the delegates wandered the floor and a few wanted to get their picture taken with Wynn of course.

 Meanwhile, several of the delegation were in and out of the hallway on their mobile phones (again nothing at all unusual about that), but then suddenly the group got the signal that it was time to pack up and head out to the next event.

The director went around to all the kids and handed out little gifts.

The packing-up-to-go process took about 20 more minutes and none of the families were in any big rush to go ... some were still eating dinner. And it gave the kids a chance to hang out with each other outside of school time.

Wynn took it well enough but Ann and I were disappointed at the disjointedness of the "American" side of the evening. Wynn didn't get her chance to send a message to the 'homeland' and her hard work had evaporated.

 

Ah, Farewell, Florida ...

Today's our last day in Florida. Up and at 'em and on a flight back to the frozen northland tomorrow morning. When we broke the news to Wynn, she said the only thing she could say under the circumstances: "Awwww..."

She's already told us NUMEROUS times that she wants to come back to Florida again sometime, and so do we. For now, let's focus on the fun we had today.

The morning was rainy and windy but not too cold, so we took another walk on the beach to look for shells and listen to the waves. We love that Wynn is so ridiculously enthusiastic about such simple pleasures; she's never even heard of a theme park, and we're going to keep it that way as long as possible.

We checked out the shops in downtown Fernandina Beach, drank coffee, bought some t-shirts, and bumped into another family with an adopted daughter from China.

Naps were enjoyed back at the hotel room; Wynn passed out on the floor with her gecko and snored away for a solid hour.

For dinner we went back downtown and strolled through the historic district looking at the quirky old houses and trying to wrap our minds around residential streets lined with palm trees. Most of the restaurants downtown post their menus outside - French cafes, a Philly Cheesesteak stand, an organic bistro with a chef's garden out back, and an assortment of pubs and seafood diners. We decided to try an adorable little place called Karibos (and it's neighbor Karibrews) that served up fantastic sandwiches - I had the Cuban, Scott had softshell crab, and Wynn dug into quesadillas. Our experiences with dining here - and the fact that we've been able to get so many wonderful, fresh meals for $20 - $30 for the whole family really makes us want to come back here again - just to explore all the great looking restaurants we've passed by.

The biggest treat today for Wynn was some quality splash time in the hotel whirlpool. We went out as the sun was setting, and the warm water and bubbles really hit the spot. Wynn giggled with glee and she clung to Baba. At one point she proclaimed that the whirlpool was SO much better than taking a bath.

It's been a great trip. We've started referring to it as our January Thaw and are already talking about doing it all again next year.

For now, all Scott and I can say is, "Getting up and going to work on Monday is NOT going to be easy."

Leaving Our Mark on the Beach

Wynn & I Doing a Scene from The Birds

The Crab Scott Ate for Dinner

Splish Splash!

Breakthrough

Wynn really opened up to me tonight. After our walk in the park we put her on the bed in just her diaper. While I was in the tub, she and Scott were watching Shanghai Idol on TV (hilarious!), tapping their feet to the Chinese pop music. I came out and started fixing a snack, which meant I had her attention. She motioned to me from across the room that she'd like some, and I delivered. Pretty soon I was sitting on the bed with her, sharing my graham crackers.

She loves how the smooth, cool bedsheets feel against her skin, and she keeps rubbing herself around on the covers. It looks like she's swimming around on the comforter, kicking her feet, stretching out her arms, rolling over again and again. I got on the bed with her and Scott, and soon the whole family was tickling her belly and giggling with her. She's particularly fond of having me take the bottom of her foot and go ZZZBBPPFF! on it. We feel like she's relaxing around us, and that what we've seen from her tonight is probably more of what her personality is really like.

Don't know what tomorrow will be like, but tonight has been so nice.

Also ... several people came up to us in the park to practice their English. The conversation always starts the same, "Hello. I'm glad to meet you. Where are you from?" One older couple were quite good at speaking English; they explained that their daughter lives in St. Louis and they've visited her there. They asked about which city Wynn was from, her name, etc. Then the woman looked at Wynn and said, "She's lucky." I replied by telling her that we were the lucky ones to be her parents. Maybe Wynn heard me.

Ann

Officially ours!

Wynn slept through the night, thankfully. The first few hours were on my chest, then, I was able to get her onto the bed where she was able to sleep on her back. I stayed awake, tucked around her, until about 4:00, when Ann woke up and switched places with me.

Wynn woke up about 6:00, and began crying again; this time the "I'm in an unfamiliar place with those strange people from last night" cry. She kept that up for a good forty-five minutes while we tried to get cleaned up, and stayed finicky as we got our showers and dressed. We finally got down to breakfast about 8:15 -- I was totally strung out from no sleep -- but Wynn didn't cry too much as we got seated.

Wynn is a messy eater, we can tell you. Ann grabbed a bowl of congee (rice porridge which is actually quite tasty) right away for Wynn, and about a quarter of that is still dried onto my pants and shirt. However, she was enthusiastic about eating -- she wanted some of everything: my noodles and fruit salad, Ann's eggs and biscuit with jam. We had a small plastic cup which Wynn was able to sort-of drink water from; again, about half that went onto my pants.

Time was running as short as we had to be in the lobby at 8:50 to head out for official business. Ann ran over to the gift shop and found a better sippy cup while I went back up to the room to clean us up and start getting our stuff together. Somehow we assembled everything we needed in five minutes, and we left our room at 8:50. That's when the elevators decided to stage a work slowdown. Instead of taking us down from the ninth floor, we went up to twelve, and then back down to one, stopping at every floor along the way. (all the elevators are doing this now, it wasn't just "us")

Our van took us back to the same building where we got Wynn yesterday. Our group of two couples, and a larger group from Pennsylvania using a different agency, were there to complete the Chinese government paperwork, and be interviewed by the Ministry. The head of Wynn's orphanage was also present. Ann, Wynn, and I were promptly ushered into a conference room with a big, black table (and Chinese and Soviet flags) and asked a series of questions and told to sign and put our red-inked fingerprints (and Wynn's footprint) on a bunch of documents. Then the official proclaimed that the adoption process was complete - and that Wynn is now and forever our daughter.

We could ask questions of the orphanage director, and in the process found out that Wynn had been living with her foster mother for about a year. That explains why she's SO upset at finding herself with us now. It's hard to listen to her rage and cry, but we're taking it as an indication that she loves deeply and will eventually have those feelings for us too.

Wynn was the calmest we've seen her during the government proceedings; she actually relaxed a bit and watched as all the other kids and grown ups milled around the (stifling hot!) waiting room. She was great in the van back to the hotel too.

She's done a couple more rage-filled cries this afternoon - getting progressively shorter each time, and usually right before and after she sleeps. We have no appointments or business to attend to until we fly to Guangzhou on Saturday, so we have a few days to just hang out at the hotel and get used to each other. And get some sleep.

All the clothes we brought are ridiculously huge on her, so Hannah is taking us on a little shopping trip tomorrow morning to get some new clothes and some shoes for Wynn.

Random Stuff: Wynn is toilet trained. We hold her up over the toilet; she puts her feet on the seat and sqauts to go.

She is fasciniated with Scott's chest hair and likes to pet his belly.

Cheerios are the greatest thing ever invented. They're a food. They're a game. Put 'em in a plastic container, and they're a rattle. Awesome.

Also - The orphanage gave us a bag with the clothes Wynn was wearing when she was found abandoned. They have also given us the note her birth mother left with her; Hannah is translating it for us today, so we'll get to see it tomorrow. As we're traveling this rough road with her now, we keep reminding ourselves that her path to us wasn't easy either.

Got our visas!

Our passports came back from the Chinese consulate in Chicago last night - I picked them up at lunch today. We can now legally get into China!

All that's left is for us to get our Travel Authorization / Consular Appointment. Then we can go bring our daughter home!

First Time

First child.
First time to Asia.
First blog posting.

We got our "Letter Seeking Confirmation of Adopter" from Beijing today. This is The Big One ... when we put our signatures on this piece of paper and send it back to the CCAA, the Chinese Government is promising to make us Wynn's parents.

Don't know our travel dates yet - and probably won't for a couple weeks more. But our caseworker has told us to apply for visas now, and put June 5, 2007 as the entry date. That's consistent with what we've been expecting for several months now.

Between now and then we have a lot of work to do. But the nursery is mostly set up, we're looking good for clothing, and we're about to send our "care package" to Wynn.

I'll keep practicing with these posts over the next several weeks - we intend to update frequently while we're in China. Come again soon!